I'm so tense, my heart can't 4get about this self-defense, the air is hot & my breath comes fast, I thumb the cool blade but I know this can't last

SO, Ireland? Was AMAZING! Of all the places I've ever wanted to go in my life Ireland and India have been the top two; so one down and one to go! And Ireland is certainly the dream place to be for those with literary inclinations, like me! I ended up going to the Dublin Writer's Museum, the James Joyce Interactive Center, and then to Sandycove where the lighthouse in the first chapter of Ulysses is located...brilliant! I can say that I will absolutely miss being able to drink at every meal...AND have my parents pay for it! So even though I was required to spend time with my family in closed quarters there were still plenty of perks to Ireland (ALSO including a Literary Pub Crawl!) and I fully intend on returning to the Emerald Isle, maybe even for an extended period of time.

However, on the list of bad things that have been happening to me (and there's quite a few) are: migraines that won't go away/are triggered by flourescent lighting, sinusitis, panic attacks, the left side of my body having tingling and burning sensations. and a chronic infestation of boys that are dumb. Ok, so that last one isn't a) so bad and b)anything that is new and yet would it be too much to ask for some semblence of normality from the opposite sex. All I'm really asking is, think before you act...really, it's not that hard, clearly they disagree, but you know? What can you do about it? I realize that life is full of mistakes, I know cuz I have made my fair share of them, but there is no sense in going around trying to make life harder for yourself, life will suck enough without you aiding it, believe me, this I know.

The other things are the ones that are really bugging me though. I mean this all kind of hit me several weeks ago and each of the symptoms/syndromes just sort of keep taking turns kicking me while I'm down, it's really not very good and I can honestly say it's some of the scariest stuff I've ever put up with. Those who know me can tell you that I am not prone to nervousness or even being remotely frightened of anything, but this? Has me scared shitless. We'll just have to see what happens...